i grew up in a very multicultural society, and had friends and family who held many different beliefs and some who held none. of those that did have, a few would talk about it, but hardly anyone ever really tried to convince me of anything, though it did happen once or twice to no effect. other than those times, it seemed more like a family tradition they had and i would go over to friends' houses for "religious" ceremonies and eat, chill and have fun with my friends while their parents took the occasions much more seriously.
i attended both catholic elementary and high schools, where every morning we had group prayer. in elementary school i would pray catholic prayers every morning in assembly, out of routine, not knowing what they meant and i would attend church through the school when catholic holidays were being celebrated. in high school, even though it was a catholic school, we split up into groups for morning prayer depending on beliefs, and generally i would attend the catholic prayer group, but once in a while i'd go with different friends to their assembly.
i considered myself to have "no religion", i was an academic, and i assumed there were so many possibilities that we were never meant to know. i found religion rather weird, yet i did my best to have respect for it during assemblies, not really knowing why, i suppose i was just never the sort of person to act like an idiot during prayer time.
i can remember going to the school chapel a few times, alone, just because it was mostly empty and comfortable.
so, i know what it's like to not know.. it's just such a foreign idea.
if someone had come up to me with a Christian fact, and said, "nobody has died and gone to heaven except Jesus, and everyone else who died, has their soul waiting in some place." i wouldn't even know what to say, i wouldn't agree or disagree. many, many people think when you die, you go straight to heaven or hell and many, many people believe something else, and many, many people have no idea what to believe about that.
but...
now that i know what i know...
it is so very different. it is so very real.
even people who say they are Christian, come up to me now with all kinds of random ideas that the Bible expressly says something else regarding. and when i attempt to correct them, they sound like me in the old days, they come up with a bunch of ideas, and are completely unable to agree with me, even though they claim to believe in Jesus. not that they don't believe me, they are just incapable of understanding. it's very weird.
the thing that i know, about not knowing, is that God doesn't want them to know, if He wanted them to know, they would know. that's the only way, someone like me, knows, because He made it known to me, for whatever wonderful reason, i cannot fathom.
but other people not knowing, is sort of scary to me, because it is not a good thing to not know. it is in fact, a rather bad thing considering what happens to such people in the end.
i... suppose.. that's all i want to say for now.
